March 2012
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my poetry shoebox: My Favorite Foreign Language →
poetryshoebox:
“What’s your favorite foreign language?” asks the cabbie, and when I ask why, he says he knows “butterfly” in 241 of them, so I say, “Okay, French!” and he says,
“Papillon!” and I say, “German!” and he says, “Schmetterling!“ and I’m running out of languages I know, so I say, “Uh,…
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3rd grade
friend: *whispering* if you're stupid say "what"
me: what
friend: OH MAN
OH
OH DEAR FUCKING CHRIST
I GOT YOU SO GOOD, THAT WAS AWESOME
SWEET, SWEET DICKS IN MY MOUTH. I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED THIS HARD. EVER.
JESUS. JESUS HELP ME.
February 2012
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eti1 replied to your post: 1, 12, 13, 15, 16, 42
YOUR TASTE IN MUSIC UNF
asjdnjak DANKE SCHOEN <3
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Words to keep inside your pocket:
Quiescent - a quiet, soft-spoken soul.
Chimerical - merely imaginary; fanciful.
Susurrus - a whispering or rustling sound.
Raconteur - one who excels in story-telling.
Clinquant - glittering; tinsel-like.
Aubade - a song greeting the dawn.
Ephemeral - lasting a very short time.
Sempiternal - everlasting; eternal.
Euphonious - pleasing; sweet in...
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eti1 asked: 1, 12, 13, 15, 16, 42
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Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation.
Woman: It can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
trans people: more awkward side eye at current conversation
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Regina Spektor and John Frusciante are both releasing new albums this year
This is almost too good
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jpegartifacts:
The gay agenda:
wake up
pray that Rick Santorum becomes gay
push straight people who are riding bikes off of their bikes
have gay lunch
go for a gay walk in the gay park
go to gay work and make gay money
go gay shopping
buy gay things
have gay dinner
pray that America will be destroyed
watch a gay television programme on a gay television set
go to sleep
have gay...
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Try to decipher this...
thats-so-meme:
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